happy ... sad... happy then sad back.....

i don't know what is wrong with me, i'm suppose to be happy for her but instead of that, i'm seriously shit not happy at all. on saturday, T said that go for breakfast then she said she scare she might not wake up in time. so she said on sunday morning

okie,so suddenly michelle jab me ..asking wanna dim sum together not.. so i said okie lor..then i reached there that mich haven't arrive yet.. she took the wrong road and need to make a huge U turn to reach the destination.i found a spot and sat down, and i smsed T mentioning good morning bla bla bla to her ..saying i got company to eat breakie.

after not long, mich arrived with her stylo self.. ahems!!

we sat down and started makan! yumyum...!! hehe..then we chit chat bout T n S stuffs... then out of sudden my phone rang... T called... i answered the call then ask her why call me.. she said she need to wake up already that time if i'm not mistaken it was only 8 - 9 something.(cos she was suppose to work in UM for dunno wat exibition) then she said wanna take bath i ask "ehh,why so early lar...still long way to go ma.." then she said "now take bath la, if not no time go eat breakfast!!" i was like stoned a while, it's so obvious that she wanted to have breakfast with us.. i also don't know why.

she eventually came.. then after breakfast, me and mich head back to home. in the evening, called her.. she said later go out sing K with friends...at nite she sms me saying she is not happy... then after K, go pub drink somemore..
then i was freaking worried bout her.. she said she wanna go home but she car pool her friend's car. i called K to fetch her back to K's house.. indeed she overnite there.. i told her that i will come over rite after work. and i did.. i was too worried bout her.. after work, i straight away drove to K's house..she was sleeping..then she woke up, and chat with me a while, then she suddenly lay her head on my shoulder.i can feel that she is unhappy. then me, mich, K n T went to breakfast at old town tmn midah.. suddenly i said wanna buy headphones.. then mich gave me an idea, go T there exibition there buy lar.. since all IT things.. i was like thinking it on my mind but never mention it out.. so eventually we did and we hang out at UM there like for an hour.. then told T need to head home already, when we were heading out.. that was everything turns into ashes... i bumped face to face with her BF ... i called her to inform her that.. then she said she will settle everything. i went home... with my heart pounding very fast... would she get back to him? will she forgets about me after forgiving him? will she go back so so loving with her BF?

alot of thoughts..

and i cried.. in the end.. cos.. the fact i called her..
and she mention that she patched back with him... which that time ...my heart really broken again..
by her again...but i told her its nothing to do with her..

the fact is everything has to do with her...
every smile, every frown, every single feeling i had, it was all because of her...

today is her birthday....and she celebrate with her bf..which she actually need to...

i dun feel like celebrating for her...cos' it doesn't mean alot to her though.. i'm just a friend to her..

now i'm feeling very numb ..
it's like these few days... everything happens for a reason...

i'm really tired this time

i wish that she will happily get married with this guy...
cos i know whenever she comes to me...i will always soft heart towards her..

cos...
i'm very deeply in love with her... since last time till now...

there's nothing much i can do now..
i've done my part.. so it's your turn T