random

this picture was taken when we first met. Location was in PD.. haha... well the first thing that come across my mind was,"shit... am i really going to meet up a friend which i never met before in PD?"

Eventually things went well lar... haha... well now is like 12.57 am .. working ..tiring.. and plus krystle teoh din look at my blog also...sakit hati oh...

speaking of sakit hati the most is... my salary.... i'm drying out though...i really wish that somehow by end of my working day my salary is out.. i've been owing alot of ppl which i dun want to owe anymore... so let cross fingers and pray that my salary is out! i want to get myself something nice.. haha!!

here's a few photos from the past

Here's some of the pictures from the past....

Look how skinny i am.. lol!

The more i concern, the more you unconcern..

the more i care for you,

the more you neglect me,

the more i miss you,

the more you don't miss me,

that's why the more i concern about you,

the more you don't need my concern,

now i leave you alone,

you need my attention,

tell me what you want me to do,

when i can only leave you,

and let you find your own way to,

bring yourself to happiness.

don't count on me,

as i'm not qualified,

you said that,

and now i'm feeling much more confidence,

without you i hope that,

i can gain back what i've lost,

i can bring more joy without you,

trust me,

it's your lost for giving me up,

as you don't know what i'm capable of.

the more i concern,

the more you unconcern,

think about it.

you're going away...with him to another land...

I was shocked....you told me that you'll head to overseas with him. I never thought this would come out from your mouth. I couldn't believe it.. you told me that you're going with him, finally...the very last thing i would least expected happens.

All of sudden i feel that, my whole world crumble downs to myself,i felt the cold wind blowing through my heart.. again i felt this feeling. And i hate it so much, but that's the fact..

I really have nothing to say juz to wish u all the best in your future undertakings. And i hope that he will treat you like a queen as i did.. i will always love you though... even i can't say it anymore, but you will always know that i will love you as long as it takes...

why this need to be happen on me???

Shit!! why is this happening to me!!!.. Salary haven't out yet.. AGAIN...!! Which i have to wait for TWO MORE FUCKING weeks!! shit.. how am i suppose to last my days la?!Freaking 14 dayS!!! arggghhh!!! I'm going to burst!!!

My feelings

First time meet you,

My heart pounds fast,

I had butterflies in my tummy,

My palms starting to sweat,

As you walking nearer towards me,

Your smile melts my heart away,

When u approached me,

I feel something beautiful,

I think you're sweet,

I think you're cute,

Each time our eyes met,

I can't take my eyes away from you,

Your scent of your hair,

Gave me a faint right through the brain,

Your soft and tender skin,

Is as soft as silk,

Your lips is kissable,

And cause me wanting to,

Grab you and give you,

a Passionate long kiss,

till you can't breath.

You said,

Your leg aren't as pretty,

As the rest,

But in my eyes,

Everything about you,

Gives me the the perfect girl,

The woman I'm searching for,

The ideal partner i want,

The one i would call my wife,

The companion i want to spend,

The rest of my life with,

I will walk with you,

When you're hurt,

I'll be your wound,

I'll heal so that you won't feel the pain,

When you cry,

I'll be the tissue,

To wipe away all your tears,

When you're angry,

I'll be the clown,

That cheers you up,

Without any hesitation.

But,

When you start to distance me,

I try my best to come closer to you,

When you start to ignore me,

I try my best to entertain you,

When u start to ask me to walk away from you,

I try my best to think,

What i did wrong?

You starting to walk,

Away from me,

Bits by bits,

I was puzzle,

Tried to give you a bear hug,

So that you won't walk away,

But you shooked off my arms,

And gave me the look,

I can't describe the feeling,

But it hurts alot,

You turn your back towards me,

I felt the whole world,

crumbling down,

Slowly my body breaks down,

In the distance,

I saw another shadow,

It's another companion,

In your life,

You found another,

Better and more compatible,

You said to me,

I tried to hide my feelings,

And gave you smile,

Behind my smile,

There's tears,

Deep inside i can hear,

My heart cracking,

And broken,

Into million pieces,

Just like a broken mirror,

Yet,

I still wish you the best,

I want to make you smile,

Even,

I'm not the one for you,

You said,

But the devoted Love,

From me to you,

Remains only for you,

Now,

I wake up everyday,

I can't feel you,

Everything is a Routine,

Work and Home,

In my room,

I had flash memories of us,

Ever since you left,

I keep myself,

Away from everyone,

Clubbing, pubs and girls,

I locked myself in the room,

Just to think of you,

Realized that I can't,

Trying so hard,

The memories of US,

Is getting lesser and lesser,

My brain is deleting,

Every single thing about us,

Eventually,

Deep down inside my heart,

I still miss you,

Wanting you to be back,

by my side,

I'm waiting for my darling,

My sweetheart,

My wife,

My partner,
My companion,

Just to be back,

And save me from the dark,

That i've been keeping myself in

I will not go away,

I'm still standing here,

To wait for you.

Sweetie,

Please come back.

Waiting

Wanting,

lusting,

to be held,

to be loved,

to feel warmth,

to feel your beating heart.

Wanting to be sheltered from the cold,

heartless winds.

Falling into invisible arms;

into an abyss of love.

Wishing,hoping,

that my desires will be filled;

my desires of loving warmth.

Wanting to be held,

comforted,loved.

Dreaming of passionate embraces,

of tender kisses,

loving words,

romantic nights.

Waiting for undying love

after 1 month and 23 days..finally we met

On the 9th of June 2009, i was drinking with my ex colleague at puchong jaya. suddenly my phone msg rang. i took out my phone and found out that it was you that smsed me! i was suprise because the sms mentioning you asking me free or not as u got tickets to watch preview tomorrow which is 10th of June 2009. at one point i was happy and feeling so great cos' u did eventually ask me to watch..but you didn't mention that you want to watch with me or not. then i've asked u, to watch with me since there's 4 tickets available.. i never thought you will think of me first instead of the others. while you've asked me and i confirm you then and there, you called S n E to go but unfortunately they cannot join us then you called K to go, but u didn't mention asking D to go.. i was suprised... then eventually K n D decided to go. On that very day, i was wearing pink but actually i wanted to wear white, which you thought i would wear white, but we wore the same color of t shirts. coincidently! me myself also suprised that we bump into wearing the same color. when you entered my car, i was a bit scared but i'm really glad to see you and the feeling is hard to explain.. i feel like hugging you close to me juz to express how much i misses you.. but i didn't. i don't want you to feel that i'm taking advantage of you so i juz keep it to myself.then you said u wanna take things and asked me to wait a while. suprisingly, you gave me back the keychain which u bought for me at melacca.. i can't believe it! you still remember.. ...

I am someone, I walked past a dead face even though the person was alive I saw my eyes in the mirrorand cried at the sight. I looked at a person I didn¹t know, and I met a friend. I got heads to turn, when I walked past. I learned a lot about myself, when I lost a new friend. I cried every tear in my body, when I thought about love. I got hit bad, then got back in the ring. I climbed a mountain of rocks and saw an eagle fly over- head. I heard terrible things about myself when no one thought I was listeningI realized I was strong. when I didn¹t cry when it hurt. I found out who I was, when I was with someone else. I thought I was lost forever, when a friend found me. I held a life in my hand and it was my own. I was a pawn in someone else's game, so I surrendered to a brook. I walked the fine line between surviving and not wanting to survive. I still am I am someone.

A Rose

A lovely rose with petals softA scent so sweet and lightSo beautiful a flowerWith colors shining bright.But something not so savoryAbout the fragrant rose -The thorns, so sharp upon the stem,That sharpen as it grows.Yet still lovely is the flowerDespite the thorns that prickJust as life and love are sweetThey too have thorns that stick.But do not fear to live or love,Life's not exempt from pain -So pick a rose, you may get hurt,But you will also gain!

Love in many different languages

Love, love is in many different languages like Amor, Amour, Love, and other many languages that have ever been created. Wait, some questions has drawn to my attention, what does “love” really mean? No matter what language it is in. Like one, what does “love” really mean? Two, does it all mean the same no matter what language it is spoken? Three, how can “love” hurt you? Four, is “love” just a set of words that does not mean anything? Five, is “love” real, can “love” really hurt you? Well no one really knows. Some people say it for the moment, some just say it to get what they want, some really mean it but get bit in the rear end for really actually saying it, and finally there is some that is to afraid to say it when they really “love” someone. Therefore, what does “love” actually mean, no matter in what language it is spoken?

yawns

i feel sleepy out of sudden.. this morning chatted with her.. and she told me that her ex owes the bank loan for her car installment for 3 months. At one point i felt very sorry for her, but in other hand i've warn her bout this matter, but cannot believe that she still believes in her so i felt helpless now cos' i can't help much under financial form but i seriously wanted to give her a hand. today i woke up i thought of one thing which is i'm heading to my friend's place to cut my hair. then i thought i'll be using the federal highway so i thought myself "will we bump into each other while driving?" hahaha. how silly i am u know?

anyways, juz for fun though. even if we bumped into each other today, i don't know what reaction that i should give her though. then this morning my boss jabber me and ask me where i am, i told her that im in level 2, then she ask me wanna go for a walk? then i said ok. we went downstairs for a smoke. then krystle joins us but she call me first to ask permission from boss.. hahaha.. then my boss told her come down la... lol then ran down and join our smoking session. then boss asked me to go to our BPO level there and take things from big boss SEC, named anna,when i asked her that boss ask me come over to her place to take things, she gave me a smirk which i felt kinda weird, then went back to her place and gave her the things she asked for. then she asked me, "so did anna gave u any respond?" i told her she oni give me one kind of look. that's it. she told me that actually she told anna that she's sending her twin to take her stuffs. i was like OMG.. then she told me that is what the whole G level is talking about. it's like i'm the bulletin of the month or the year. cos her post in EDS is quite big.. so for someone new like me and came in and slightly look like her.. it's was kinda fun though.. hahaha... hope our r/s will get better as day passes by la.

It been three weeks

Well, here i am again to conteng my blog. Okay it has been like almost three weeks now since i've started this job. So at the moment i know things and the enviroment of this company is quite comfy and my post actually is not that hard as i thought and frankly speaking it's kinda free time job as i'm only working for a backup for all 9 account.. Phew..! thank god for that. And actually i can make alot of friends here..

Which is a good thing though, what to do? Oh by the way, first month working salary will be out by next week! woohoo!! i'm happy, cause i can pay off my debts from bank, friends and family..glad bout that.. and one more thing is to thank someone special la. if no her means no me dy in EDS. thank you Krystle Teoh.

haha,..... p.s : if there is any ketidakpuashatian, pls leave a comment ok slut!?

I Do Not Understand Human Beings

This happened on last friday, which i will make it simple and nice..This incident happen when T wants to pass me dumpling but at the same time S got into a serious accident which I'm freaking out because I do not know how serious is she. Then T asked me on that very same day to meet her up to eat dinner and pass me the dumplings and I told her that I can't meet her that day because I need to rush to see S. I'm worry bout her safety. T then got all furious upon I go to see S first instead of her. It sounds so ridiculous and she sounded that she's a bit jealous. But what is she to jealous for? I do not understand at all. Why on earth she wants to do so? And plus she knows alot of things about me n S which suprised me and until now I don't even know who is the one that is keep on betraying me and such. Which i'm really kinda pissed off when I ask only three of them that knows about S the most. I really hope the person is ST. Because she knows the most among the three. Yesterday i indirectly confront the first one and she seems like although she got mention things bout me to T but not that much. So now left two. The 3rd one don't know much bout me and S and now only narrowed one last which is ST. I seriously hope that she's not the one that betrays me. Cause I hate betrayal among friends and even partners.

So whoever u might be, stop giving my information to T. It's getting on my nerves. Period.